I hear it from women all the time: the compartmentalizing of their "stuff". What is "stuff" anyway? It ranges for all from traumas to stresses to relationships to everything in between. It's all the little things that add up to make our lives. Sometimes, this "stuff" is buried so deeply we don't feel like there are any problems at all. We gain such a collection of "stuff" that the ONLY way it becomes clear is when we feel a physical sensation or pain, suffer from sickness, heartbreak, or grief. There has to be some sort of wake-up call for the stuff to reveal itself for many of us.
We all have stuff. This is true. Some of us have a serious collection of stuff!
However, many are not aware of what their truth and emotions really are.
I hear this from clients often: you knew the truth before I knew.
It's true: I do and did. But I want individuals to figure it out so they can heal it… I help them do this. It’s more empowering this way.
When I watched the film Killing Us Softly Version 4 recently again, I realized again how aging and the media have affected me and my perception. Not to mention how even when things change, they still stay the same.
It was a great reminder that women are very, very harsh with the image of their body even though the photos in the media ARE NOT REAL WOMEN…
We punish one another for this often… we create competition between one another.
Our sex life falters because we have taken on the patriarchal view of our sexual desires versus finding out what we really want.
Many women don't feel deserving of their desires or learning about what they are.
67% of heterosexual women say they fake orgasms.
52% feel they prefer dark chocolate to sex.
THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It means we are accommodating.
It means we are not honoring our desires or speaking up.
It means VERY SMART AND BRAVE women are not getting their desires and needs met or even asking for them.
Client A didn't realize her trauma and emotions were giving her back pain and digestive issues. She was feeling old and unsexy, I mean, how dare she age! Zeroing in on how her trauma affected her made a profound difference. Now she nourishes her body and cares for it as it matters to her. She is speaking up for her desires. HER DESIRES! Not the ones planted within her.
I'm sure you've heard that some people are scared there's a chip in the Covid-19 vaccine. While we won't spend time debunking that theory today, I'll tell you what you SHOULD be afraid of. We as a society should be way more afraid that there are constant subliminal messages we receive daily from the media. Messages geared towards hating our bodies fuel the idea that we need to change to be accepted. This creates a violent culture against women, and It's around us ALL time, whether it is recognized or not. Very often, it’s not recognized. BUT IT'S VERY PRESENT.
Client B: She is in her late 60s. She will never wear tank tops because her arms are "too big." She goes on crazy binge diets. All her clothes are loose. This woman has many people in her life who love her… a wonderful husband and beautiful kids. However, she hates her body and aging. She doesn't realize that she is stuck in a perception of how she should look versus owning her own beauty. Every time one of my other clients passed this client at my office… they'd say, "Who is that? She's stunning!". EVERY SINGLE TIME…. She does not see this in herself. We're working on it.
Do either of these clients sound like you?
Are you done and ready to find your own desires and truth and to love your body up? If so, I'm holding space for you. Sign up for a free exploratory conversation on how we can do just that.