Do you feel spread too thin? Are you constantly putting other people’s needs before yours, allowing self-care to fall to the wayside, feeling under-appreciated and oftentimes teetering on the brink of exhaustion? If so, dear sister, you are not alone.
I often hear about feeling spread too thin from clients, which prompted me to put out a survey to my 1600 person Facebook Group for women. I asked the women in my group about the real problems with being spread too thin.
Here’s what many of them said:
I don’t feel like I’m able to be present or in the moment with daily tasks.
Read that again… daily tasks. Not being present means that each day is slipping away without really experiencing friends, family and other loved ones. It means being preoccupied with the next thing or things that have passed. It means not being genuinely with who is in front of you, not even yourself or your kids.
The tasks that are getting done are not getting done well.
The ladies I’m hearing from are stressed, pressured and their time is VERY limited, which is impacting their ability to operate optimally.
It’s all a balancing act.
Imagine a woman walking along a tightrope in the circus. That’s what’s happening with so many of you. From what I’m hearing, there’s zero balance. Even without kids, there’s a balancing act going on between work and family. One of my clients is a lawyer and she doesn’t have kids. Yet, she is spread so thin that her work hours seep into her personal hours. She’s exhausted all the time. She barely says no to people. She’s accommodating everyone to the point of being totally drained.
I’m used to accommodating everyone around me.
This really has to do with boundary setting. If, like so many other women, you struggle with creating and maintaining healthy and appropriate boundaries, check out my post, Why Women Need Healthy Relationship Boundaries. So many women want to say “NO” so badly, but winding up saying “Yes” all the time to keep the peace.
I push myself to the side. (She is NOT a priority.)
Even without kids, many women put themselves to the side. Her clients may come first. Her dog may come first. Her boyfriend may come first. But, she comes last, and that’s if she even puts herself on the list at all.
When this happens overtime, many women end up with health issues like cancer, high blood pressure, anxiety attacks, sleeping issues and immunity issues. And what is even sadder is that sometimes, even with health ailments, she still isn’t a priority!
One woman recently told me that she will get help when/if things get REALLY bad with her health. Her health is already significantly compromised. And why wait?
There’s nothing attractive about waiting until you’re on your deathbed to really live your life.
Being spread too thin is causing feelings of inadequacy and the feeling of not being enough.
When we start feeling inadequate, we can also start finding ourselves depressed. According to a report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Among women, slightly more than 10 percent have depression, versus 5.5 percent of men.”
Women have double the amount of depression than men in the U.S. alone. If we do nothing about it, are we accepting this? I don’t accept it! Do you?
So many women are also stuck responding to life in a way that’s masculine and feed into the idea of being the “perfect woman.” However, the perfect, ideal woman does not exist. This construct is created by society. Yet when we don’t feel like the ideal woman, we feel inadequate.
Feeling suffocated and like I’m losing each minute and hour of this precious life I’ve been given.
What you do with your time off really matters, even those 10 minutes. Yet, when we feel suffocated, there’s no real time for pleasure or fun, which is what awakens your feminine nature.
Feeling suffocated doesn’t work for the feminine. The feminine is fluid. The feminine flows. The feminine receives. The feminine is sensual no matter her weight or age. The feminine is the backbone of this culture. The feminine is compassionate and understanding (to herself as well). The feminine holds the balance of fierce grace like the Goddess Kali. The feminine has great intuition and sees through BS. The feminine knows how to respond. The feminine is an amazing problem solver. The feminine is the ultimate creative source.
When Too Much Is Too Much
Do you relate with any or all of the above statements made by our fellow sisters? Are you ready to reclaim personal agency, set and maintain healthy boundaries, cultivate self-care and step into your fierce and fabulous feminine? If so, hurrah for you!
Here’s how to start:
Declare that you’re done being spread too thin. But, recognize that setting a declaration isn’t enough for long time change.
Take intelligent action daily.
Align yourself with women who are feminine and not spread too thin
We have to remember that the action steps we take every day matter. Each woman is different. And each will need to take different action depending on her current situation, needs and goals.
Some women are exhausted.
Some are burnt out.
Some are having health problems.
Some are having sexual problems.
Some don’t have enough friends or support.
Some aren’t having any fun.
Each of the above women need different action steps and Google can’t customize a plan for anyone.
Unfortunately, there’s no magic pill, and I honestly wish there was. But, that doesn’t mean that it can’t be done!
For more than a decade I’ve been working with women all over the country through my coaching for women practice. I’ve helped thousands of women go from feeling burnt out and under-appreciated to tapping into their inherent wisdom and beauty and cultivating sensual, passionate and creative lives that they truly love.
If you’re really ready to stop being spread too thin and need help figuring out effective action steps, I am here to help you too. Contact me today to set up an initial complimentary call.
Talk soon, Leslie
For those of you who learn better from seeing and listening, check out this video on being spread too thin: